I feel so much better about myself when I go to the gym, and in the last two and a half weeks, I've maybe been once. I noticed this weekend that it really puts the damper on the way I feel. But, I've also struggled with mommy-guilt over going to the gym. I could pick up MC earlier from daycare, and spend some quality time with her. Or, I could pick up G and we could play. Or, I could clean my house. It's just something that I've really struggled over and I think it's something that every mother struggles with. I honestly, don't know how my mom raised my brother and I. I can imagine that she felt guilty all the time. But, she did a fabulous job, and I know because we turned out ok, that my girls will too.
I announced last week, that i'm cutting the girls down to daycare/preschool 3 days a week. Which, is really going to cut down on my available time to go to the gym. But, I have to. I have to go and work out and feel good about myself.
I was looking over pictures this past weekend, and I came across these two pictures. G was 18 months old, and I was going to the gym a lot. At least 3 days a week, and doing cardio and strength training, and here's the sad thing. I told myself I was fat.
Another thing that I need to stop. Telling myself i'm fat. What kind of example am I setting for my two daughters. I want to work out, not only to loose the baby weight from MC, but to feel good about myself and to feel confident in the way I look. And, I just don't right now.
Sad thing is that I didn't feel confident about the way I looked then either. 
I saw this picture of myself this weekend. G and I rode a camel at the zoo, and as soon as I saw this picture, I wasn't happy with the way I looked. In my eyes, I look fat. I started a "weight loss" journey in November, that's when I re-joined the gym, and promised I'd blog about it. Well, this is maybe my 4th post, and as you can tell, i'm not doing so hot!
So, I took the girls to daycare today. I only have 2 more weeks where I can take them 5 days a week. And, I went to the gym. I spent an hour there. I walked/ran 1 mile on the treadmill, lifted weights, did a few crunches, and lifted some more weights. And, I feel great!
I'm so glad that I went today. I'm so glad that the girls are at daycare and I hit the gym. I'm now home jamming to Sirius radio and cleaning my house. I have plans tonight to walk with a friend. I am determined that this week is going to be a good week. I plan to not eat the homemade chocolate chip cookies that I hid in my pantry. I can't loose the motivation again.
I hope that you haven't lost the motivation, and if you have, I hope you'll find it again. For your sanity, for your health, and for your confidence. Because there's nothing more fashionable than a confident woman!
Written by Unknown
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